In early 2020, after the sudden split from my last longterm boyfriend and as COVID-19 lockdowns were being enforced across the world, I started buying myself flowers.
Today I want to share how this tiny gesture - giving myself $4 grocery store hydrangeas every 2 weeks - changed my life by ushering so much self love & compassion into my reality.
Self love was such a "quiet becoming" in my experience. It wasn't something I was shouting about from the rooftops. It was such a delicate and private daily commitment and, most days, I wasn't sure if I was making progress or not.
But I sat in my feelings and in my silence. I let myself cry, hard. And, whenever I felt inspired to do so... I grabbed a pen and let it all spill out on paper.
It started so difficult & painful. Until it finally wasn't.
Self love, once fully embodied, became something so beautiful that eventually I found myself crying, but it was no longer from a place of grief and sadness. I cried out of the sweetest, most sincere gratitude for who I really am, and for every part of my life that led me closer to these moments of pure awe and awakening.
I share this message because I know that it can reach the hearts of those who need it. And my wish is that it will help each of you feel less alone, and maybe even help you feel more empowered. Even if just a little.
If you’re feeling sad, uncertain, afraid, or alone today... please... give yourself some flowers.
Place them in your home where you’ll see them often.
And, every time you see these flowers, allow yourself to say & really feel these words:
"I am open to loving myself fully, even if it feels difficult right now. I deserve love and beauty, and will start by giving it to myself, a little more each day. I am grateful for these flowers and the beauty I see in them. I recognize that to witness beauty in my external world, I must also possess it within. I am open to further discovering and believing in the unique beauty I bring to this world."
Know these flowers are not in your physical reality by mistake; they are here by intention. You are a powerful creator. Tell yourself again, and again, and again, until you believe it and begin to see evidence of it everywhere... and, even then, it doesn't hurt to "keep sweet words coming" to yourself.
Because you really are made of the very same miraculous energy as the flowers you're gifting yourself... and please, beautiful one…
... please know that you will bloom just as brilliantly.